Apparently, Farmer Gumm has consulted with his cattle and is predicting a significant amount of snow to fall upon Augusta within the next twenty-four hours. His fellow weather-watcher, Farmer Hedrick calls the storm system "wack." Heaven only knows where he acquired such deplorable slang.
And speaking of the reprehensible torturing of the English language, it has come to my attention that many of these aspiring weather soothsayers are now assigning proper names to the storms. I cannot approve of this trend. I realize that during these winter months, many of these worthy gentlemen have little else to occupy them, aside from planning their crops and feeding their livestock. But to annoint their pending blizzard with such a feeble, anemic name as 'Jonas'? My heavens, did they not even try to conceive of a finer, more dreadful appellation for this seasonal apocalypse? Why, at least half a dozen more suitable designations have popped into my poor female mind in the short time I've penned these few words. Thor, Goliath, Zeus...oh, I beg your pardon. The weather oracles have just informed me that those names have already been used. It appears all the good ones have been taken and the world is left with the doddering, impotent Jonases.
(p.s. My apologies for the brevity of this entry. Due to the inclement weather, everyone has been in a frantic rush to bake bread and milk the cows. I cannot imagine why.)